Big Blue Eyes
by 1-ShotWonder
Summary: A short drabble about what’s hidden beyond Ban’s big blue eyes, from Ginji’s pint of view. This is my first fic ever, so please be nice. Also, no flames would be good. Thanks!


**Author: **1ShotWonder

**Summary: **A short drabble about what's hidden beyond Ban's big blue eyes, from Ginji's pint of view. This is my first fic ever, so please be nice. Also, no flames would be good. Thanks!

**Rating: **E for everyone, or K or whatever…..

**Disclaimers: **Me? Own the Getbackers? I wish. However, the only thing _I_ want to own is Akabane. Mmmm. But the fic's not about him, so anyways…..

**Big Blue Eyes**

Never ask about the past.

That's an unwritten rule when working with Ban, a silent law that everyone must follow. No one is allowed to break this law; not his friends, not his enemies, and most of all, not his lovers. There's a line across his soul, and no one, no matter who the hell they are or what they mean to him, can pass it. Not even me. And I'm his partner.

The two of us are best friends. We work together, hang together; every moment of every day is spent on business, food, or running for our lives. But, it's as if Ban has two lives. The one he lives now is that of one of the Get Backers, living from day to day, recovering items and hiding from the monstrous tab at the Honky Tonk, trying desperately to forget his other existences. The dark and mysterious life he led before he met up with Himiko and the even more hidden and dangerous time after he killed Himiko's brother. What happened in those times, to change him from the boy he was into the man he is today, no one knows. Not Hevn, not Paul, not Himiko. Not even me.

Every once in awhile though, you get a glimpse. A little look into the private world that Ban lives in. In those scant few moments that you see his eyes exposed, unconcealed by those smoky violet lenses, you see something. A small flash of light, a tiny gleam of confusion, and then you see. Pain, anguish, grief and guilt. For a split second, you get a glimpse of the true Ban, a man withholding too much doubt, anger and sadness, holing it up inside, never letting it shine through the mask he wears each day. In that one moment, you behold the person that Ban really is, and you see the pain written clearly across his face.

In a second, it's gone. The glasses are pushed back up, the mask is pulled on, and once again you are looking at the barrier, the impenetrable wall behind which all of the dark memories are hidden. At first, you don't believe what you saw. Was it a trick of the light? Was it just a daydream? You try to convince yourself, attempting to believe it was nothing. And just when you've all but forgotten about it, it happens again. The barrier goes down and you get a second look at the inner universe that is Ban Mido.

Soon, you start searching for them; the small, secret emotions that flicker from time to time across Ban's face. You hunt for the little hints and clues that he unintentionally drops, and you start to study his every move. Slowly, you try to put the few pieces you have together, and as soon as you think you have a small bit of the puzzle figured out, Ban surprises you with something random, unexpected, and that blows your theory away. It's as if you're trying to put together a puzzle without the picture of it, and you don't even have all of the pieces. You don't know what the end result will be, and you don't have any idea how to fit the pieces together, but you still try. Deep inside you, there's a burning desire to know. Know what happened to the man you see in front of you.

But you won't, Ban won't let you. And he probably never will. All of his secrets, all of his memories, every single piece of the Ban puzzle is locked inside his mind. And even though you might occasionally get a glimpse through the keyhole, the door to the vault of memories will remain barred to you forever. That moment of revelation will never come, because the portal into the dark half of his mind is hidden and locked to all of us, and always will be. He walled up that section of his mind long ago, and though he can pass through the wall, we can't. We can only see between the cracks.

And so life goes on. The Ban puzzle is still incomplete, not even half finished. The enigma that is Ban Mido will forever remain aloof from us, almost tangible, but just beyond our reach. Maybe someday, the door will open, the wall will come crashing down, and all the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place. But that day, if it ever happens, is too faraway to think about. All we can do is help Ban go through the motions, and hope that someday, he'll give us the key to the secrets locked behind his big blue eyes


End file.
